Farang: A Cultural Phenomenon

I’ve been meaning to write about Farangs for some time now, but kept putting it off for various reasons.

Farang. This is the Thai word for foreigner.  It’s also the Thai word for guava, but that’s besides the point. Farang is not necessarily a negative connotation, but it is an umbrella term for foreigner. Yet in Thailand, there seem to be about four different types of farang.  For this reason, I wish there were more specific names for foreigners, because some of these farang create a negative image for the rest of us. Here’s what I’ve seen and experienced thus far.

There are the ex-pats. These individuals are living here either temporarily or permanently. They work here, and usually have families. I’ve met a couple of American ex-pats, but most of them seem to be European.

Here’s the issue with ex-pats. Some of them are harmless.  Technically, I fall under the category of ex-pat,  because I’m living here temporarily. Like me, some of them are here for work, teaching English (that’s the most common), humanitarian/aid work, etc. However, most of the ex-pats live here because they “fell in love” with a Thai woman. These farang are often (and I do mean often, like 80-90% of the time) much older than their Thai partner. It’s rather gross to witness, and you see it quite often here. In Big cities especially, but I still see it here in Chiang Rai. Not only is the man much older, he is also, most of the time, not attractive at all.  This is horrible to say, but it’s true. And let me point out, that the Thai lady with this man is almost always hot. Not that looks matter, I’m not saying that couples should be matched based on their physical appearance, but the difference in age is so apparent here that’s its mind-blowing. Why does this happen and why is it such a phenomenon? I’m in no way an expert on this (obviously), but what I’ve witnessed and learned so far seems to be this: money and idealism.  American money (and the Euro) go quite far here. Street food or open restaurants costs $1, a traditional Thai massage costs $6.50, a decent hotel room starts at $40 a night, etc.  Basically,  you can live extremely well here. If money could buy love, it happens here. Often the women who marry farang come from Isaan, the northeast Region of Thailand, one of the poorest parts of the country (it is not uncommon for young teens and young adults from Isaan to leave their family’s farm and move to Bangkok in search of something better, which often ends up being some kind of minimum-wage job for men or the entertainment industry for women). Thus, Isaan women marry farangs for their money, to live like a princess, and to be able to support their family (brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, etc.).  Yet what’s in it for the man? Besides having a younger, hotter wife, it seems that they are infatuated with a certain type of woman: the subordinate woman.  They want a woman who will cook and clean for them, and who won’t talk back to them, or outright question their judgment.  There was a New York Times article back in September of this year about this exact phenomenon.  In it, Joseph Davis, 54, who married a much younger Thai woman, explains the allure: “Thai women are a lot like women in America were 50 years ago, before they discovered their rights and became strong-headed and opinionated.  The women now know they are equal, so the situation is not as relaxed and peaceful as it is between an American and a Thai lady.” Yeah, disgusting.  It makes me so angry.  But which is worse? The men marrying for sex and an ego boost, or the women marrying for money?  Does it make it okay for  women if most of them grew up extremely poor and just want to live a comfortable life, without having to work 16 hour days to barely make ends meet?  Is it justifiable? I can understand it, but I still can’t help wondering, what’s the point of being in a relationship if both people are in it for all the wrong reasons? Is being in a happy relationship or marriage a privilege and a luxury in places where you come from a poor family?

Here is the link to the NY Times article for those who are interested

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/25/world/asia/25iht-thai.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=western%20men%20and%20thai%20women&st=cse